i have no pictures of proof. just take my word.

so... i'm back temping at the office where i previously worked. i rode in with the tall blond today. not bad since the wd-40 is now off of her windshield and she's added more duct tape to the light fixtures on the front of the car.

around lunch time, though, something dreadful happened. she went into one of the boss's private restrooms a little before noon. she looked kind of secretive when she did--as though she needed a moment alone.

about five minutes into her retreat, i could hear exclamations of "oh no! oh no! oh dear God! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!" i peeked my head out of the side of my cubicle to see her make a run for kate's office. i followed a little behind and watched her, doubled over, tears streaming down her face. it almost looked like she was laughing. but, then... who takes a private five minute retreat into a bathroom, starts shrieking and then laughs so hard she can't stand? that didn't make any sense.

she tried to talk to kate, but tears were streaming down her face and she was gasping for air. finally i heard her say, "kate, i need your help. i've done something terrible."

kate looked at her and said, "what have you done this time?"

such a typical thing to say to the blond girl. she's always getting into scrapes and doing the most heinous things. hence the wd-40 on the windshield in 6 degree temperatures, nearly killing us all.

"what do you mean, what have i done THIS TIME?" the tall blond gasped through tears. she still was not standing upright. she doubled over even farther. i watched kate give her a knowing glare and then decided perhaps i should retreat back to my cubicle.

across the office, i heard the high pitched gasps of the tall blond. after about ten minutes of her being with kate, i snuck back to kate's office for another peek. kate was crying too. tears were running down her face and her body was shaking uncontrollably. she stood up and followed the tall blond back to the private bathroom.

whatever had happened must have been so dreadful that they BOTH needed to be alone in a private place to get their bearings. had someone died? i could not know.

"WHAT ON EARTH POSSESSED YOU...?!?!" kate seemed to be yelling. and then she began to gasp and cry. what was going on?! i was back at my cubicle and continued to peekmy head around the corner. the tall blond made a run for it and a few moments later returned with two pairs of sterile gloves.

had someone been injured in the private bathroom? where was the boss-man anyway? no one had seen him for hours! had the tall blond murdered him? i snuck in for a closer look.

the tall blond was handing kate thick wads of paper towels soaked with what appeared to be a redish-brownish blood-looking subtance. kate took them and dumped them into the waste container.

what in the world was going on? i was terrified to look, but... just like when i pass an accident on the highway and am propelled by some unseen force to slow down and gape, i found myself drawn into the private bathroom.

"what's going on in here?" i asked trepidaciously. both of the women stopped and stared at me in horror, like two school children caught stealing for the first time.

after what seemed an eternity of silence and tension, both women burst into laughter.

apparently, the tall blond had heard that if you put something into the back tank of a commode and flush, whatever you've put into the back of the commode will flush right into the bowl. makes sense. those little blue clorox things do it.

not realising that the commodes in the building are designed differently, she poured an entire bottle of shrimp cocktail sauce into the back of the commode as aa april fool's joke on her boss. unfortunately, when she flushed the toilet, the cocktail sauce just sat there because the water was being flushed into the bowl from another source.

realising that the cocktail sauce would just sit there and fester and mold and do whatever decomposing thing shrimp cocktail sauce does, she shrieked, "oh no! oh no! oh dear God! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!" and then ran to kate's office. realising her predicament, she laughed so hard that she could barely relay the story to kate who, in turn, laughed so hard that she too cried.

the two of them ran to the boss's private restroom to try to fix the problem themselves. wearing surgical gloves, they reached into the back of the commode with paper towels, trying to clean up the mess.

long story shortened, their attempts failed and the building managers will have to rectify the situation. in the mean time, the boss's commode smells like hors d'oeuvres.