war games

as i have accepted the various assignments over the past few weeks and have adjusted to the various offices, i am more and more reminded of games i used to play with my brother, shirt, when we were little.

our dad had a laptop issued to him from work that was a little outdated and for whatever reason, they let him hold on to it. he allowed us, in turn, to play space invaders and what-not on it. i programmed some things in basica and shirt and i would take the laptop out onto the back porch for our "mission" assignments.

we would read the data on the screen and then grab our guns and storm out into the darkness of the backyard (these sorts of games are only good late at night, you understand) and we would accost the invisible bad guys and take them back to our backporch bunker and hold them captive. at that point, one of the invisible bad guys would invariably escape and we would be forced to go back into the darkness and recapture him OR we'd be given a new mission on the laptop. the cycle was limited only by our imagination and waning energy as the night progressed.

in the same way that we made up excuses to hate the invisible bad guys and decide to chase after them, companies across the country chase down bad guys who have infiltrated their secrets to success or "misappropriated" funds. it's anyone's guess who will be the next in the neverending cycle of "get the bad guy" and "keep our club safe."

i still remember shirt practically refusing to play when i'd decided that i would be the bad guy. he was upset because he'd shot me and i wasn't falling down. i wasn't playing by the rules. but in some strange way, it's anyone's guess what the rules are. how do we know that we are all playing by the same rules? how do we know when we've crossed a line or, God forbid, THE line?

in the end, as i push papers around and enter data and have various documents dictated to me, i am reminded of the war games i played as a child. and i realise all of us are still playing some game or another. children in business suits. conquering the world.

guitar lessons and other things...

i went to a used bookstore. i don't know when i've seen so many books! i took fleur with me. she decided it would be fun to take pictures of my bookstore experience. it was her idea to go there.


on one of the shelves was a book about the world's wildest places. she asked me the wildest place i've ever been. i told her the used bookstore. she said that didn't count.


i think maybe the wildest place i've ever been has been the backyard when it needs a good mowing. she laughed when i told her that. we looked at some of the photos. they reminded me of the guy i'm working for right now. on friday, he had me upload his vacation pictures from alaska. the pics in the book looked so similar to his. i asked her if she would ever want to go to alaska. she said she didn't think so because it was too cold.


so many books! we checked out the fishing section. i've never been. but she has. she said she liked the wormy, squirmy feel of hooking the worms and then waiting for fish to bite. she also said she enjoyed the way the fish flopped around when they were caught and trying to get them off the hook. i'm not generally one for touching wriggly, wet, live things. fleur sure is brave!


i sat and read a book with fleur, and then she hopped off and took a picture. we looked at african animals together. she said that one of her friends studied in southern africa for a while and came back with amazing photos. i asked what her favourite african animal was and she said the lion, because it was fearless. i expected her to ask the question in return, but she did not. i'm not sure what kind of answer i would have given. maybe zebras because they look so strange-- like striped horses?


we wandered to the children's section. i don't think the lady working there appreciated me sitting on her cart. but whatever! the book on the right asks fun questions, like, "who lives on a farm?" "who lives in your house?" fleur said the second title would make a great horror movie title. "who lives in your house?" i see her point. it could be about not really knowing the people that we live with, or it could be about those who died long ago. i like titles that have duplicitous possibilities.


another great title. "who is Jesus?" hmmm... so much to think about. then fleur and i got into a heated discussion about "the story of Christianity." it's the book on the right. apparently, fleur is a devout catholic. i'm a protestant. i know i went through the seven stations of the cross; i think it's good to appreciate the facets of all christian religions. we can learn so much. any time we think we can't, we stop growing. anyway... i said that it made me uncomfortable to see pictures of Jesus on the cross when i felt that the very profound point of Christianity was that Jesus conquered death. fleur... is an amazing hat. i really like her. she's a neat girl. she and i do not agree on this point.


after the crucifix convo, i decided to lighten things up a bit by climbing the book shelves. she layed down on the floor and took a picture of me from there. when we turned around, there was a huge group of people standing there, staring at us. we immediately moved three aisles over.


apparently, no one has any interest in cheese, because when we climed the shelves together here, we were alone. :) i asked her what her favourite cheese was. she said that she didn't care as long as it was dry and crumbly. i asked her if she'd ever had a wet cheese and she said that she'd had some on prague once and it was dreadful. i didn't know there was such a thing as wet or dry cheese. she said that she would have to take me somewhere to try out the various cheeses. i'm thinkin' as long as we don't have to talk about crucifixes again, that could probably happen.

***

we had a good time, i think. didn't quite get to the guitar lesson. didn't even find a good guitar book. we got kicked out of the store. (it closed). we did, however, find some great journals. both of us are journal snobs, it turns out. we vastly prefer journals that don't have lines. she's a neat girl.

intrigued, party of one

In order to get away from car pooling with the tall blond, I have perused other financially compensating options in the downtown area of Kansas City, MO. Today, I have been fortunate enough to work in a fast paced, high profile news center. For the next couple of days I will be assisting the GM and CEO. This particular assignment involves gathering mail and dispensing with the various correspondences in and out of the office.

Here is the intriguing part of this particular assignment...

I'm not sure how this happened, I'm not sure why this happened, but it would seem both of my supervisors were in some sort of debilitating accident wherein they lost the capacity to utilise their hands and fingers to open FedEx, UPS, DHL, and postal packages.

Apparently, assisting them with this particular, personal dysfunction is a paramount part of my financial compensation. Who knew?

Other insurmountable tasks include:
making coffee
operating the microwave
picking up lunch
restocking the printers with paper
standing in line anywhere
paying bills
refilling the staplers...

but for $25/hour, i will nod and smile.

The Way of The Cross

first of all, please be aware that i am horrendous at typing and i've spent some time typing all of this stuff out. so... sorry for the mistakes. and... i think it's all very important. so... take some time here. it's really cool.


this is me at the beginning of the path.


when we started out, the full moon could be seen, even in the bright sky. it was a gorgeous day.


here is the first marker on the path. all of the markers are crosses with a sort of house that holds pictures of the station and a few words describing each.

Jesus Is condemned to death

As soon as it was morning, the chief priests, with the elders and scribes, and the whole council, held a consultation; and they bound Jesus and led him away and delivered him to Pilate. And they all condemned him and said, "He desserves to die." When Pilate heard these words, he brought Jesus out and sat don on the judgement seat at a place called the Pavement, but in Hebrew, Gabbatha. Then he handed Jesus over to them to be crucified.

v. God did not spare His own Son:
r. but delivered Him up for us all.
Let us pray.

Almight God, whose most dear Son went not up to Joy but first He suffered pain, and entered not into Glory before He was crucified: mercifully grant that we, walking in the way of the Cross, may find it none other way than the way of Life nad peace: through Jesus Christ Your Son our Lord. amen.

Jesus takes up His cross

Jesus went out, bearing His own cross, to the place called the place of the skull, which is called in Hebrew, Golgotha. Although He was a Son, he learned obedience through what He suffered. Like a lamb He was led to the slaughter; and like a sheep before her shearers is mute, so He opened not His mouth. Worthy is the lamb who was slain, to receive power and riches and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and blessing.

v. The Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all
r. for the transgression of my people was He stricken.
Let us pray.

Almight God whose beloved Son willing endured the agony and shame of the cross for our redemption: give us courage to take up our cross and follow Him; who lives and reigns forever and ever. amen.

Jesus Falls for the First Time

Christ Jesus, though he was in the form of God did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped; but emptied Himself, taking the form of a servant, and was born in human likenss. And being found in human form He humbled hHimself and became obedient unto death, even death on a cross. Therefore, God has highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the Name which is above every name. Come, let us bow down, and bend the knee, and kneel before the Lord our Maker, for He is the Lord our God.

v. surely he has borne our griefs;
r. and carried our sorrows.
let us pray.

O God, you know us to be set in the midst of so many and great dangers, that by reason of the frailty of our nature we cannot always stand upright: grant us such strength and protection as may support us in all dangers, and carry us through all temptations; through Jesus Christ our Lord. amen.

Jesus meets his afflicted mother

to what can i liken you, to what can i compare you, o daughter of jerusalem? what likenss can i use to comfort you, o virgin daughter of zion? for vas as the sea is your ruin. blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. the Lord will be your everlasting light, and your days of mourning shall be ended.

v. a sword will pierce your owl soul also;
r. and fill your heart with bitter pain.
let us pray

o God, Who willed that in the passion of Your Son a sword of grief should pierce the soul ot the Blessed Virgin Mary His mothr; mercifully grant that Your Church, having shared with her in His passion, may be made worthy to share in the joys of His ressurection; who lives and reigns for ever and ever. amen.

The cross is laid on Simon of Cyrene

as they led Jesus away, they came upon a man of Cyrene, simon by name, who was coming in from the country, and laid on him the cross to carry it behind Jesus. "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me. take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for My yoke is easy, and My burden is light."

v. whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me:
r. cannot be my disciple.
let us pray

Heavenly Father, whose blessed Son came not to be served but to serve: bless all who, following in His steps, give themselves to the service of others, that with wisdom, patience, and courage, they may minister in His Name to the suffering, the friendless, and the needy; for the love of Him who laid down His life for us, Your Son our Saviour Jesus Christ. amen

A woman wipes the face of Jesus

We have seen Him without beauty or majesty, with no looks to attract our eyes. He was depised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and aquainted with grief; and sa one from whom men hide their faces, he was despised, and we esteemed Him not. His appearance was so marred, beyond human semblance, and His form beyond that of the children of men. but He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; opn Him was the chastisemsent that made us whole, and with His stripes we are healed.

v. restore us, o Lord God of hosts:
r. show the light of Your countenance, and we shall be saved.
let us pray

O God, who before the passion of your only-begotten Son revealed His Glory upon the Holy Mountain: grant to us that we, beholding by faith the light of His countenance, may be strengthened to bear our corss, and be changes into His likeness from glory to glory; through Jesus Christ our Lord. amen.

Jesus falls a second time

Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows. all we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed, and He was afflicted, yet He opened not His mouth. for the transgression of my people was He stricken.

v. but as for me, i am a worm and no man
r. scorned by all and despised by the people.
let us pray.

Almighty and ever living God, in Your tender Love for hte human race You sent Your Son, our Saviour Jesus Christ, to take upon Him our nature, and to suffer death upon the corss, giving us the example of His Great Humility. mercifully grant that we may walk in the way of His suffering, and also share in His resurrection; who lives and reigns for ever and ever. amen.

Jesus meets the women of Jerusalem

There followed after Jesus a great multitude of the people, and among them were women who bewailed and lamented Him. But Jesus turning to them said, "daughters of jerusalem, do not weep for Me, but weep for yourselves and for your children."

v. those who sowed with tears:
r. will reap with songs of Joy
let us pray.

Teach Your Church, o Lord, to mourn for the sins of which it is guilty, and to repent and forsake them; that, by Your pardoning grace, the results of our iniquities many not be visited upon our children and our children's children; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.


and then there was a bridge over a small bit of water...


as i walked across the bridge, a song came to my mind, "the river is wide... i cannot cross o'er. nor have i the wings to fly. i need a saviour to carry me safely to the other side..." and i thought about the hebrews crossing the red sea and how they needed help there and how we need help today. i don't know... a lot went through my mind as i thought about slavery and freedom. and the way of the cross.


Jesus falls a third time

I am the man who has seen affliction under the rod of his wrath; he has driven and brought me into darkness withour any light. he has beseiged me and eveloped me with bitterness and tribulation; he has made me dwell in darkness like the dead of long ago. though i call and cry for helo, he shuts out my prayer. he has made my teeth grind on gravel, and made me cower in ashes. "remeber, O Lord, my affliction and bitterness, the wormwood and the gall!"

v. He was led like a lamb to the slaughter;
r. and like a sheep before her sheerers is mute, so He did not open His mouth.
let us pray.

o God, by the passion of your blessed Son You made an instrument of shameful death to be for us the means of life: grant us so to glory in the cross of Christ, that we may gladly suffer shame and loss for the sake of Your Son our Saviour, Jesus Christ. amen.

more of the way of the cross

Jesus is stripped of his garments

when they came to a place called golgotha (which means the place of the skull), they offered him wine to drink, mingled with gall; but when he tasted it, he would not drink it. and they divided His garments among them by casting lots. this was to fulfill the scripture which says, "they divided My garments among them; they cast lots for My clothing."

v. they game Me gall to eat;
r. and when I was thirsty they gave Me vinegar to drink.
let us pray

Lord God, whose blessed Son our Saviour gave His body to be whipped and His face to be spit upon: give us Grace to accept Joyfully the sufferings of the present time, confident of the Glory that shall be revealed through Jesus Christ our Lord. amen.

Jesus is nailed to the Cross

when they came to the place which is called the skull, there they crucified Him and with Him they crucified two criminals, one on the right, the other on the left, and Jesus between them. and the scripture was fulfulled which says, "He was numbered with the transgressors."

v. they pierce My hands and My feet:
r. they stare and gloat over Me.
let us pray.

Lord, Jesus Christ, You stretched out Your arms of Love on the hard wood of the cross that everyone might come within the reach of Your Saving Embrace: so clothe us in Your Spirit that we, reaching forth our hands in love, may bring those who do not know You to the knowledge and Love of You; for the honour of Your Name. amen.

Jesus dies on the Cross

when Jesus saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing near, He said to His mother, "woman, behold Your son!" then He said to his disciple, "behold your mother!" and when Jesus had received the vinegar, He said, "it is finished..."

and then, crying with a loud voice, He said, "FATHER!! into YOUR hands I commit My Spirit!"

and HE bowed His head and handed over His Spirit.

v. Christ for us became obedient unto death:
r. even death on a cross.
let us pray.

o God, Who for our redemption gave Your only-begotten Son to the death of the Cross, and by His Glorious resurrection delivered us from the Power of our enemy: grant us so to die daily to sin, that we may evermore live with Him in the Joy of His resurrection; who lives and reigns now and for ever. amen.

...what wondrous love is this, o my lord, o my lord... what wondrous love is this o my lord...


Lord, Jesus Christ, by Your death You took away the sting of dath: grant to us Your servants so to follow in Faith where You have led the Way, that we may at length fall asleep peacefully in You and wake up in Your likeness for Your tender mercies' sake. amen.

Holy God,
Holy and Mighty,
Holy Immortal One,
Have mercy upon us.

we ador You, O Christ, and we bless You.
Because by Your Holy Cross You have redeemed the world.

O God, Your blessed Son was laid in a tomb in a garden, and rested on the Sabbath day: grant that we who have been buried with him in the waters of baptism may find our perfect rest in His eternal and Glorious Kingdom; where He lives and reigns for ever and ever. amen.

fountains part two... a detective's tale

It was very cold outside, so I decided to spring for some hot chocolate while I endeavored to get to the bottom of the waterless fountain caper. But before hot chocolate, I had to thaw.

I found a nice fireplace and reclined near the hearth for a moment.


Once I’d warmed up a bit, I ordered my hot cocoa and settled into a very comfortable chair and read the Kansas City Star. I thought something as major as waterless fountains would have made the front page, but no! Reading on, I discovered that there was no mention of the lack of water, or of any intent to bring water in. Was Kansas City in the midst of a winter drought that I had not been privy to?


A group near me at the cocoa shop vacated their table and left behind an “Events in the KC Area” bulletin. I perused that in the event that fountains with water were a more artistic or event-worthy affair. Again, I came up empty handed. (Except for the ink from Fleur’s phone number…)

Finally, in utter dismay, I left the cocoa shop and wandered the streets of the plaza in utter dejection and despondency. I could not even bring myself to take a photo of my sadness. And then… there, in the midst of my dark, waterless fountains of Kansas City moment… a bright light appeared…


The Kansas City Convention and Visitors Association! I hadn’t known such a thing existed. I peered into the door, trying to see if it was open or if anyone was around who might be able to answer my questions pertaining to the waterless fountains… I decided to go inside.


Brochures and magazines and bulletins and announcements of every shape and size! I perused the leaflets and pamphlets with a hunger I did not know I had.

tour of the fountains part I

I went in search of the fountains on Saturday. The sky was a gorgeous blue, the sun was warm, the wind was light and chilled. It was a perfect day for fountain searching. First sop: the Plaza! I wandered the streets, or brick sidewalks… whatever, in search of a fountain!


My first stop was at a statue thing. I hopped up on the ledge and tried to get a passerby to take a good photograph. When I got the camera back, I could tell that the tourist or whatever was NOT a camera pro. But! If you look in the background… do you see her? The most beautiful pink hat! She is just gorgeous! I about fell over. But when I turned around to see if she was still there, she was gone.


So… I went to the Nichols fountain, discovered it was OFF, of all things, and got a photo with the black gravestone thing in the sidewalk. I wasn’t really sure what to do. I mean… I found the fountain. Should I have kept on wandering around the plaza?


I got another shot with the empty fountain. And there! Do you see it?


In the background! Here, it’s bigger…

The cute pink hat!


I decided to excersise some gut action and go over and say “hello!”

So what that she was sitting with two of her friends! A guy should have guts, I say! So, I told her she was in my pictures! And she introduced herself as “Fleur from France.” The hat in the middle is Clarice from Kansas City and Dawn Ann, who is from New York, was on the other end.

Fleur invited me to join them. I was nervous, but I figured I would sit with them—next to Fleur!! Turns out, Fleur is here on a study visa which will run out in a few months and she’s working on trying to stay in the country for a while longer. She also just bought a guitar. She doesn’t play it, but she wants to learn. Generally, I’m against people who don’t know how to play instruments buying them for themselves as some sort of … status thing, but… she’s such a pretty hat, how could I be mad? Of course, she didn’t exactly tell me all of this, it was more Candice and Dawn Ann. Fluer apparently doesn’t talk a whole lot. I mean, she has great English, but… I guess she’s shy…? I told her that I play guitar. And I would teach her if she wanted lessons.




Dawn Ann and Candice told hilarious stories. Dawn Ann is very outgoing and totally animated. She uses all sorts of colourful language and Candice says a good one-liner every now and then that sends Dawn Ann off on another tangent. The three of them were quite funny! No, I’m not molesting sweet Fleur, there. I’m mostly just leaning in to catch all of Dawn Ann’s facial expressions. She is hilarious!They had a movie to get to. I had other plans for the evening, so when they invited me along, I had to decline. I am still kicking myself.



But I got Fleur’s number. I know… silly, right. She said that I should call her if I’m interested in giving guitar lessons. She wrote her number on my HAND! I will never wash this hand again!



There they go! Dawn Ann and Clarice were making jokes again, but I think Fleur turned and waved goodbye. That’s a good sign, right?

i have a valid excuse!!

i've been in the hospital. did i mention that i carpool to work? i carpool to work. or i carpooled. until two weeks ago when the tall, blonde girl drove me to work in the snow and her windshield wipers and defroster weren't working. so... we stopped at a gas station in the midst of the sub-zero quasi blizzard weather and she got two gallons of the windshield fluid--which worked like a charm. until she started mumbling something about wal-mart and how there was an ice repeller and something about oil... blah blah... wd-40... blah blah. the next thing you know, the windshield is perfect and clear. and then... she goes and sprays the whole thing down with wd-40. i'm not embittered or anything. and no i don't have any pictures. it was horrible. the whole thing turned white and greasy and flaky and weird and then she actually tried to drive on the streets with it. and we got into an accident. i didn't have any broken bones, but the doctors were very concerned about internal fraying. fortunately, i was given a clean bill of health. and thank goodness the weather has cleared up. and i've totally hidden the wd-40. i should have known. a girl who will duct tape her car together and drive with no tranny fluid will try anything. do you know there's a rumour that she tried to dilute gasoline with water? i mentioned it to her once and she said, "well, for all we know, it could have been a huge gasoline conspiracy. water dilutes shampoo." surely whe was kidding. surely. but... i rode in a car with her with wd-40 on the windshield, so who the heck knows?!
and that is why i haven't blogged in two weeks.